Advice to My Younger Self- Connie Magee

Last week, I participated in a wonderful event called Shine Synergy Inspiration Summit, hosted by my client who is a Life and Wellness Coach.  The theme included “advice we would give to our younger selves.”  I hadn’t planned to stand up and speak, much less be filmed (I would have at least put on lipstick!).  But as I sat and listened to 20+ women share their stories of personal growth and what they would say to their younger selves, I felt inspired to contribute my voice.

Many (most…ok, possibly all) of my clients share a common desire to feel radically BETTER, and in that process, inevitably share stories or bits of stories about past struggles with self-doubt, self-hatred, or self-ignorance.  Growing up, many of us choose to annex parts of who we are, because we received a message that we weren’t good enough.  Maybe that message was “inherited” wordlessly from a parent(s) who also hadn’t been mentored in the practices of self-discovery and self-love.  Most of us arrive at the threshold of the Palace of Self with knees bloodied from crawling through obstacles of our own making, wrong turns we were unaware of, or a soul shredded by jobs, relationships and social situations that drain- rather than sustain- us.

How much trouble could we have saved ourselves…had we only known…had we only been warned…had we only been taught…?  Truth is, it doesn’t matter how you arrive or how long it took you to get here.  Part of the beauty of living a conscious life and loving ourselves, is loving our story.  The WHOLE story.  The Shine event gave many women the stage time to hear her own voice, speaking her own truth, to her own child inside.  The girl who didn’t have the answers when she needed them; the girl who didn’t have the guidance she sought.  So she made it through, and she made it matter.  She owned her whole Self, and used her voice to speak her truth and encourage her sisters.

What advice would you give to your younger self (at any age)?

Sometimes, I give advice to the Connie I was yesterday. Sometimes it’s Connie circa 1983. Every time I offer guidance to my niece, I’m also speaking to my younger self. The key is to take my own medicine in the Now, even if the trigger was a previous past experience. We live in a constant state of Revision.  Knowing this, we are freed to keep re-creating, day by day and moment by moment.  Leaving shame behind, we are free to shine.

The other day I revisited some spiritual study on self care, Ayurveda style. Then I wrote this for my niece:
      Over the years I have been variously ardent and lax about incorporating these elements (Dinacharya, if you must know) into my life.
      I realized the key, and the first act of self love and self care, is to consciously create time and space for rituals. Not feeling guilty about owning this space in your life. Once we truly say Yes to this truth, none of it seems like work, or something weird we have to explain to our family.
      With the gift of time seated in the belief of self-love, these rituals become fluid, intuitive and NECESSARY.
      (I also find I don’t “need” as many products and potions that I used to require. The gestures are the Medicine. The radiance comes in the doing).
      I think most of us still fundamentally wrestle with the willingness to say YES to opening up time. It starts with the language you use in your own mind, about how much time you have (or don’t). The attitude we silently hold dictates what unfolds. The truth is: time makes itself available for us, when our hearts align with our words and deeds. Self care becomes the first celebration of the day, and a pattern of beauty and unity that you can, and will, spread to everything you do and everyone you touch.
      Then, we find we have spacious time. Our life unfolds to include time and space for what we deem truly meaningful. EVERYONE has the same amount of clock-time per day. The intention and presence we bring determines how elastic, capacious and fluid our time is; or how urgent, stressful and scarce it is. If we believe it so; it is. You’re busy and stressed and spread too thin because you believe that you are (and probably tell yourself that you are…and tell this story to others.  Listen to your words).
      Step one: MEDITATE and breathe.
      Start by making a top five list of things that are important for to do you every day, no matter what. And I’m not talking about habits; I am talking about your guiding principles.  
      And be sure to say WHY they are important. Be sure to say HOW you want these things to flower into your life.  What will you honor with your time today?
      For example, my connection to Spirit and my meditation practice keep me emotionally grounded and balanced, and remind me that infinite love and beauty exists everywhere, especially IN me.
      This matters to me, because my mission in life is to help people heal and to love them, and to show them how to love themselves. There are actually much bigger reasons other than my own happiness, which motivate me to stay connected to Truth. It’s a great big circle/spiral/crystal/matrix.